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Saturday, October 4, 2008

Selfishness

On 30th September I was at the Changi Airport, Singapore to drop Tewari Sir. We had some time to kill before Tewari Sir left so we all decide to have a cup of coffee. First, I was the designated seat grabber while Farida and Tewari sir ordered coffee. When the order arrived we found that they hadn't given Tewari sir his coffee. So I stood up and ordered a new one for him.

As I was at the bar waiting for it when the girl who was preparing the coffee started chatting. She asked me, if I was in Singapore because of F-1. I replied that it was a combination of F-1 and business. She looked at me and smiled and said ..........

Deju Vu: An impression of having seen or experienced something before.

A few year ago I was at the JFK airport in New York. It was October too and I was there to meet my then girlfriend's parents. When I left Delhi to meet them by British Airways I was upgraded to Business class, hence at JFK when I checked in the lady at the counter looked at me a few times. She then called some one up and after a few negotiations told me that I have been upgraded on my flight back too.

She looked at me with a very generous smile and said " Sir, you are a very lucky man."

Without even giving a thought I immidiatly said " May this luck pass on to you from me." This was an instant reaction and that was the first thing that came to my mind.

She looked at me with amazement and said " Oooooohhhhh, that is so sweet, that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me." She then gave me a lot of BA goodies. When she saw me at the boarding gate she took my bag and carried it in the aircraft. She insisted doing that and was very kind to me.

I never thought of this instance for a long time but it was almost as if I had given my luck away to her. Of course, I have never been upgraded after that, (which was an usual affair for me), I lost my business after having a tiff with my partners. I dried out my savings over a few months in trying to establish myself again. Then, even after looking very hard at a project I lost a lot of money in it where the mediators took me for a ride and never returned my money. Sadly a lot of this money was in the form of loan and I am still in the process of repaying them one by one. And, as luck (or un-luck) would have it the girl whom I trusted most to stand by me, Left too.

However, life moves on and we all make a new beginning. I changed my style a bit and things have started to look good now. I have always believed that hard work and patience never fails.

She asked me if I was in Singapore because of F-1. I replied that it was a combination of F-1 and business. She looked at me and smiled and said " Sir, you are a very lucky man."

For few seconds I kept looking at her but unlike last instance this had happened to me, this time around, I thought for almost 10 sec before saying " Thank you very much." I smiled back at her. She served me coffee and I returned to my table.

For last few days I have thought a lot about this and have contemplated on my own behaviour. Have I become more selfish and greedy?

I told Tewari Sir this a couple of days ago when I met him with Sandeep Bhatnagar. He was unimpressed and said " That was a very sweeping statement you had made." Then after thinking a bit he said "Babu, you should say this to only your children."

We discussed life and it's ironies. Like always he in his own unique style added "Aisa socho shayad yeh koi purana karz tha jo tumne chuka diya aur achcha hua ki yeh tab hua jab tumhare pass zyada nahin tha aur isse tum phir bana sakoge". (Think like this, this might have been be a debt from last life and you paid it now, what if this would have happened when you had a lot of money. At least you can easily make it back again.)

I smiled and agreed.

Now, all I want to know is that if that girl in New York actually benefited from my generosity of giving my luck away.

If she did, it was worth the troubles of last few years for me.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Priceless & Tere mere sapne

Yesterday when I got back home it was almost midnight. Lying down on the floor I started to flip through channels. As it often happens that you don't find anything worth watching, I was about to give up and then suddenly I saw a face that I can watch whole day.

It was Audrey Tautou's. Before her an actress which made me stare at her was coincidentally another Audrey and of course she was the unforgettable Audrey Hepburn.


Audrey & Audrey

This Audrey is probably the only modern actress who makes me skip a heartbeat. She has charm which makes me feel that I should be around her. Her smile is so infectious that I would do anything to keep her smiling. When she is sad I feel sad. I really don't know if there is anyone who would dislike her. She is charming enough to even make a heartless guttersnipe melt.

Most people know her from Amelie, A very long engagement or from the Da Vinci Code. But I loved her in 'Hors de prix' (Pricesless). She plays a gold digger called Irene.

As the movie starts, Irene is gold digger who charms her way into old rich men's life for all the comforts. One day she sleeps with a bartender 'Gad Elmaleh' who she thinks is loaded. But as it happens the 'Old rich guy' catches them and she is thrown out. I do not want to narrate the story and spoil the fun for any one who hasn't seen it.

However, during this movie another movie which caught my attention was Devanand's Tere Mere Sapne. I had seen this movie a long long time ago and hence was annoyed to find two movies which I wanted to see showing up at the same time.

I have always felt that Devanand raised some great social issues through his movies. Sometimes he is ahead of his times. The only problem he has now a days is that he doesn't work with stars and he isn't the force himself to pull it through all by his own.

But 'Tere Mere Sapne' raised some very important issues.

Devanand as a young doctor lands up in a small mining town. He is an idealist and wants to help poor and deprived people. Here he encounters a drunk and depressed doctor in Vijay Anand. Though, Vijay Anand has returned from England to practice in India, he is depressed and dissapointed with the system.

As the movie unfolds Devanand falls in love with Mumtaz and marries her in the village. There is a lovely song where Devanand and Mumtaz are riding on a bicycle and they sing 'Maine kasam lee'.





The story takes a nasty turn when Mumtaz is pregnant and she gets into an accident. Devanand tries very hard to bring the culprit to justice but fails as he is rich. Dejected and dissapointed Devanand leaves everything behind and goes back to town to earn money.

I think its worth watching. So do it and learn how the story unfolds next.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Beef saga, Ms. Madhu Singh, Harivansh Rai and his Kayastha lineage

Yesterday Ms. Madhu Singh (of The Curse of Ghandhari) left a note on one of my articles (Beef) which ended with a small couplet by Dr. Harivansh Rai, of course she wrote it in the lighter vain but its about the Kayastha community of which he and me are a part.

The story around this couplet goes something like this: One day someone asked Dr. Harivansh Rai, "You don't drink then how come you write such profound work on drinking and alcohol", He answered through this couplet:

मैं कायस्थ, कुलोधाभव मेरे पुरखों ने इतना ढाला
मेरे तन के लहु में है पिछत्तर प्रतिशत हाला
पुश्तैनी अधिकार मुझे है मदिरालय के आँगन पर
मेरे दादा परदादा के हाथ बिकी थी यह मधुशाला


Main kayasth, kulodhabhav mere purkhon ne itna dhaala
Mere tan ke lahu mein hai pichhattar pratishat haala
Pushtaini adhikaar mujhe hai madiraalay ke aangan par
Mere dada pardada ke haath biki thi madhushaala


which roughly translates into:
I am a Kayastha prodigy, my ancestor's drank so much,
My blood now contains 75% alcohol,
I have an ancestral right on the floor of these bars,
My forefathers were the ones who visited these Pubs

Now this couplet basically describes about the free going, opulent and out-going life style which Kayastha community used to lead. I have done some research and work on Kayastha community's history but that could come later. This blog is more about Harivansh Rai's poems.

Some of his famous works are well known but I would start to put some of my favorites. He is known as one of the finest Hindi poets of last century but my favourite work is first part of his autobiography: क्या भूलूँ क्या याद करुँ (Kya bhoolon kya yaad karoon)

I was so tounched by a comment that he made in that book:
It's the time when Shyama Ji, his first wife passes away he says:
मैं उसकी मृत्यु से आधा मर गया, और वह मेरे जीवन में आधा जीवन जियेगी
Mein uski martyu se aadha mar gaya, aur wah mere jeevan mein aadha jeevan jiyegi

With her death half of me died and she would live half a life in mine.

In my eyes that is one of the most romantic comments that any guy has ever made about his deceased spouse . Isn't this better than building a Taj Mahal for someone.

One which would have offended most people in this time and age is:

मुस्लमान और हिन्दु हैं दो
एक मगर उनका प्याला
एक मगर उनका मदिरालय
एक मगर उनकी हाला
दोनों रहते एक ना जब तक
मन्दिर - मस्जिद में जाते
बैर बढातेमन्दिर मस्जिद
मेल करती मधुशाला

Musalmaan aur hindu hain do
Ek magar unka pyaala
(Muslims and Hindus are different, but they share a common peg of wine)
Ek magar unka madiraalaya
Ek magar unki haala
(Both have the same bar and both drink the same wine)
Dono rehte ek na jab tak
Masjid-Mandir mein jaate
(Both do not live together until they go to Mosques and Temples)
Bair badhaate masjid-mandir
Mel karaati madhushaala
(Mosques and temples increase the difference but the bar helps them to be united).


But one of my favorites is:

जो बीत गई सो बात गई

जीवन में एक सितारा
माना वह बड़ा प्यारा था
वह डूब गया तो डूब गया
अम्बर के आनन् को देखो
कितने इसके तारे टूटे
कितने इसके प्यारे छूटे
जो छूट गए फिर कहाँ मिले
पर बोलो टूटे तारों पर !
कब अम्बर शोक मनाता है !
जो बीत गई सो बात गई !

जीवन
में था एक कुसुम !
थे उसपर नित्य निछावर तुम !
वह सूख गया तो सूख गया !
मधुवन की छाती को देखो !
सूखी कितनी इसकी कलियाँ !
मुरझाईं कितनी वल्लरियाँ !
जो मुरझाईं फिर कहाँ खिलीं !
पर बोलो सूखे फूलों पर !
कब मधुवन शोर मचाता है !
जो बीत गई सो बात गई !

जीवन
में मधु का प्याला था
तुमने तन मन दे डाला था !
वह टूट गया तो टूट गया
मदिरालय के आँगन को देखो !
कितने प्याले हिल जाते हैं
गिर मिट्टी में मिल जाते हैं !
जब गिरते हैं कब उठते हैं
पर बोलो टूटे प्यालों पर
कब मदिरालय पछताता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई

मृदु
मिट्टी के हैं बने हुए
मधु घट फूटा ही करते हैं
लघु जीवन ले कर ही आयें हैं
प्याले टूटा ही करते हैं
फिर भी मदिरालय के अन्दर
मधु के घट हैं मधु प्याले हैं
जो मादकता के मारें हैं
वे मधु लूटा ही करते हैं
वह कच्चा पीने वाला है
जिसकी ममता घट पायलों पर
जो सच्चे मधु से जला हुआ
कब
रोता है कब चिल्लाता है

जो बीत गई सो बात गई

Jo beet gayi so baat gayi

Jeevan mein ek sitara tha
Mana wah bada pyara tha
Wah toot gaya to toot gaya,
Amber ke aanan ko dekho,
Kitne iske taare toote,
Kitne iske pyare choote,
Jo choot gaye phir kahan mile,
Par bolo toote taaron par,
Kab amber shok manata hai,
Jo beet gayi so baat gayi,

Jeevan mein tha ek kusum,
The us par nitya nichavar tum,
Vah sookh gaya to sookh gaya,
Madhuvan ki chati ko dekho,
Sookhi kitni iski kaliyan,
Murjhaiyin kitni valleriiyaan,
Jo murjhayin phir kahan khili,
Par bolo sookhe phoolon par,
Kab madhuvan shor machta hai,
Jo Beet Gayi so baat gayi,

Jeevan mein ek madhu ka pyala tha,
Tumne tan man de dala tha,
Wah toot gaya to toot gaya,
Madiralay ke aangan ko dekho,
Kitne pyale hil jate hain,
Gir metti mein mil jate hain,
Jab girte hain kab uthte hain,
Par bolo toote pyalon par,
Kab madiralay pachtata hai,
Jo beet gayi so baat gayi

Mradu meeti ke hain bane hue,
Madhu ghat phoota hi karte hain,
Laghu jeevan le kar hi aayen hain,
Pyale toota hi karte hain,
Phir bhi madiralay ke andar,
Madhu ke ghat hain madhu pyale hain,
Jo madakta ke maren hain,
Vah madhu loota hi karte hain,
Vah kachcha peene wala hai,
Jiski mamta ghat pyalon par,
Jo sachche madhu se jala hua,
Kab rota hai kab chillata hai,

Jo beet gayi so baat gayi

I specially love the last few lines.....

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Should Olympic medal matter to us?

As Abhinav Bindra was standing on the podium to receive his Gold Medal and all of Indian media was going ga-ga over him, I stood there wondering two questions.


1. Why such a hype over one gold? and on the other hand
2. Does it even matter if we win 1 or 50 gold medals?


In a sense these both questions represents two different thoughts of mine, they are somewhat contradicting to each other.

One thought of mine wants to achieve more and more, wants to be the world's best and want India to be right up there at number one sporting country in the world.

Second one, a little more complex but it is of one which understands the complexities of Sports and wants Indians to play the sport for its love and play it for fun instead of trying to achieve 50 gold medals.

Of course, I am proud of Abhinav's achievement as any Indian would be and I do not intend to take anything away from it. He has worked very hard and he surely deserves a medal for that.

However, why one gold is making such a big noise? Yes, he is first individual Indian in the independent era to win it and the first Indian in 28 years to receive it. Last one was Indian hockey team back at Moscow Olympics.

Are we such poor achievers at sports or as many people think cricket is actually killing all other kinds of sportsmen. But if can produce a Sachin Tendulkar in cricket why can’t we produce world's best in other sports. I think the only reason is lack of interest in Indians towards other sports.

The other question is should it matter? Should we be ashamed that we have only one medal? No, not at all. I think we are free country and our kids decide what to play not based on what their PT Teacher tells them but what they like. In addition, until recent past we were a real poor country. It is only in last 4 or 5 years that we have started to grow and have started to put money into sports. Hope that in a decade we would be far better placed.

I had heard somewhere that in China it is the teachers who decide what sports a kid would play. Also, if your child is good at a particular sport they are sent away to hostel based training facilities. Leave aside the child even parents do not have much say in it. Think about a 7-year-old only girl child being snatched away from her parents and being put into a hostel far-far away just because she is talented at something.

Would we ever do that to our kids? Or rather, anyone would like that to happen to them and their kids. It is all fine in the name of a country but can a medal in Olympics be above personal choice and love and affection of parents. Is it that important?

As money would pour into sports in India, I think we would more be like US or Australia rather than any other country.

Therefore, my fellow citizens, enjoy, play what you like, have fun, and enjoy your life. Of course, no one denies that when you play something it should be with utmost sincerity and hard work. As 'Steve Waugh' had once said, never give an inch'.

Give your best while playing sports, play to create memories not to win medals. No one remembers who won and who lost but people still remember instances which stick to our heads. Don't we remember Sehwag hitting 6 at 295 more than that the test match was India's first win on Pakistani soil. Don't you remember Leander Paes beating Henri LeConte in Davis Cup semi finals over who did he beat in Olympic QFs. That is because these instances would remain with us becuase they entertained us not becuase who won or who lost.


Play fair, Play hard, Play to enjoy and Medals would come automatically.


Few things about sports that have always surprised me:

1. Why most team sports are more attractive to us than individual ones?

2. Do Democracies play more team sports? Is it true or just my perception. Look at US, Australia, England etc. Team sports are far far more famous than lets say Athletics, Gymnastics or Swimming.

One question I have never ever understood,

3. Why do Indian do well in Sports which are expensive? Cricket, Tennis, Golf, Shooting. We are a poor country with lots of open spaces and 1 billion people. Why don't we excel in Football (Soccer) or just long distance running.


Any answers?


Monday, August 11, 2008

Karen's Cancer

I just found out that my friend's wife has been diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer. It's rare at such an early age of 31.

But both Francis and Karen have written some amazing articles on their blog at http://karenscancer.blogspot.com/

Please do read them and pass on all your wishes to Francis and Karen.

Monday, August 4, 2008

One day in life of Ivan Denisovich, my tribute to Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn


Just heard that Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn passed away today. It is a very sad day for the literary world. He won the Nobel Prize in 1970 but had to wait for 4 years to receive it. He wasn't allowed to get out of the USSR then. A few years ago Vladimir Putin was standing and honouring him with the highest civilian honour of Russia. What a turn around for a poor young widow’s son who had struggled all his life with ailments and life full of hardships.

I have only read one of his books, of course its 'One day in life of Ivan Denisovich'.

To give you a little background about myself in order for everyone to understand why this book has had a big impact on me. When I was growing up, especially in the 70s and early 80s, India was very socialist. At least in theory.

From the time I was very young I grew up on Russian books for children (from the former Soviet Union, they were translated and published in Hindi and English). Father always thought the quality of these books was far superior to those Indian books which were available then. The only Indian books I was allowed to read (or rather buy, he allowed me to read everything) was 'Amar Chitra Katha'.

When I look back at these, I do realize that it was true. Yes, yes, I still have many books kept safely with me from my childhood. Still have 'Masha and her four dogs', probably one of the first books that my father got me & a few Sputnik magazines. The printing is nice, the language almost too perfect.

So when I was growing up I was bombarded with many socialist ideas. I loved life in the USSR, with its snow, its organized houses and lovely and happy schools. At least this is the impression that magazines and books gave it to me.

One of my Uncles was very pro Soviet Union and we always took pride in anything that they did better than the US. I always hoped that the USSR would win more medals than the US. We were far happier if Russians claimed that they had done something great. We were convinced that MIG-29s were better fighter planes than F-16s.

Then came the first Indian to go into space on a Russian ship. His name was Rakesh Sharma. When he was space, then Indian prime minister 'Indira Gandhi' was talking to him and she asked him 'Aapko upar se bharat kaisa dhikta hai?' (How does India look from up there?) He without wasting a second said 'Main be -jhijak kah sakta hoon, Sare jahan se achcha' (I can say without any hesitation, the best in the world). That instance, made all of us few inches taller. We all had pride in him and we all thought that one day we all will do something similar and would say something so touching.

It was one of those moments, which changes things, or is a sign of change.

By the time late 80s came and India started to see a new change in itself. There were better books, like Target. (I am so sorry to see that Target is not in the print anymore), there was renewed confidence. India was a world beater in cricket and at least in one day format. Rajiv Gandhi with all his flaws and immaturity was still a breath of fresh air.

However, we were never away from the USSR, the falling of the USSR came as a surprise with the hope that this is momentary. We still wished that the US would fall of the world and the USSR-India alliance would be supreme.

It was 1992, I had just given my 12th boards and the summer was in full swing. Some how, when everyone is preparing for those entrance exams, I was just doing it for the sake of doing it. In those days, I read almost all of Shakespeare in one go. The problem that has created is that now I am not certain of plots and characters, I get them all mixed up in my head. This was the same summer when I read 'One day in life of Ivan Denisovich'.

It is a story of man in Russian prisons 'Gulag'. His experiences in Stalin era prison have been presented in this book. This is almost autobiographical, as he himself had spent 8 years in Stalin's nasty dreaded prison camps. One thing I remember which gave me chills was that the cut off cold for workers not to work outside was -41 degree Celsius.

This book threw out all those left over socialist ideas from mind and I became a new person. I had read someone in the USSR in mid 80s read this book in one night and came out into the cold brisk Moscow morning. He said that feeling stuck with him for years because he hadn't walked into the Sun, it was as if he had left his old past behind. My experiences with this book were similar. I became a new person with new thought, new expressions, and new likings towards basic freedoms.

Maybe it was the last nail in the socialist coffin or maybe it was 'Eureka' for free will and free thought for me.

Now more I think, the more I am convinced about Free Will, Free People, and Free Economy.

I would surely read his 'Gulag trilogy' as soon as I can get my hands on them as a tribute to the person who hastened my thought process if not totally shatter my old ideas.

Though somehow deep down I still believe that I am socialist. I now think that Democracy, Free Will, Free Speech, Free Economy or Freedom at every level of human life is the best form of socialism because it removes the human being from chains and liberates him to achieve and live a life full of dreams and desires.

Isn't it, that at the end, dreaming of a better tomorrow, for us and all humanity is all we have.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Manekshaw Hall MHOW and Sam Manekshaw

I was in the 4th standard when I first acted in my school play. The play was about a father and two sons. I was playing one of the sons. However, my memories of that play are minimal. The only thing that I remember is that we did it in Manekshaw hall.

When I was in 5th grade I clearly remember doing a play where bunch of vegetables fight the supreme vegetable position. I was ‘Aaloo’ or potato. The most gorgeous girl had said that she loved ‘Aaloo’ and everyone had made fun of me. As all pre teens, I categorically denied it but secretly I was very happy. I kept claiming that she was talking about ‘Aaloo’ the vegetable and not about me. However, I still want to believe that she said that about me and not about the vegetable.

I remember Army School, MHOW always had its annual day in the Manekshaw Hall. It was around a kilometer from our school. We mostly used to walk to it for our practice sessions. It was a very pleasant walk not only because we left our campus and walked but because it was located at the bottom of a hill. On one side, there was a large open-air theater for the army officers and on the other, a canteen or refreshment center called Shangri-La. Shangri-La used to provide us with refreshment which usually were samosas.

We had a dress rehearsal session for students and then on the final day for the parents. I always participated so I never got to watch any of the performances.

Manekshaw hall was not a big theater; I think the capacity must be around 500. Hence, in the later years, we had moved out to the open-air theater rather than this closed one. The stage was big and had a small alcove underneath it. There was a nice big back stage with changing rooms.

Around a year ago I went and saw the annual day of Army School again where my cousin was performing and it was a very pleasant experience. They still do it in the open air theater.

Why am I remembering all this? It is because Field Marshall Sam Manekshaw passed away last week. When I look back even in those days I somewhat knew who he was, I used to wonder why did all the Army Officers were also in awe of this name. As I started to know more about him, he became more of a man of myth.

He is one of two Field Marshals that India has had as an independent country. It is the highest post given to an Indian soldier. It’s an honorary post and once conferred, the person never retires from the Army.

Field Marshall Manekshaw was a highly decorated soldier of World War II. However, his main claim to fame was 1971 War with Pakistan and of course, his tongue and cheek humour. Some of his stories are unbelievable.

In 1947 , he was posted in Lahore and he was given a choice to join Indian army or Pakistan army. He had one James motorcycle. His colonel in those days was Yahya Khan. He really liked the motorcycle and asked Sam to leave it with him for Rs. 1400. He told him that he didn’t have the money then but would send it as soon as possible. Manekshaw never received that money. Then in 1971, Chief of Army Staff Manekshaw carried Indian Army to victory and creation of Bangladesh from East Pakistan. Yahya Khan now was President of Pakistan and Manekshaw in his own way said “He never gave me Rs. 1400 for my motor cycle and now with accumulating interest I have taken East Pakistan away from him.”

Manekshaw and Indira Gandhi then Prime Minister of India had mutual admiration for each other but that never stopped them from making comments towards each other.

Manekshaw had supposedly told Mrs. Gandhi after first brief that he received on 1971 war was “ So ma’am should I claim insanity and resign.” On another instance he was having a cup of tea at home when he received a call from Mrs. Gandhi for an urgent meeting. He told her, he was having tea and cannot leave at that moment. Mrs. Gandhi told him not to worry and she would serve him tea. He supposedly told her “Ma’am frankly you serve muck in your office and that can’t be claimed as tea.”

Indira Gandhi once told him “Sam, if your weren’t, what you are, you would be out of the force, no one can dare to speak to Indian prime minister like this. We don’t live in Pakistan.” He turned around and said, “Ma’am, I would be a better PM, we have a thing in common and that is a big nose but at least I don’t have a habit of poking into other countries affairs.”

Someone once I asked him what would have happened if he would have joined Pakistan Army in 1947, he retorted back, "You would have seen India defeated.". Now this had annoyed a lot of Indians but yet you have to admire the man's confidence.

A few years ago at the age of 90, journalists wanted him to tell his opinion on Iraq war, he politely said, “I am a man of peace, I know nothing about wars.” Journalists had no answer all they could do was laugh.

Sam Manekshaw has passed away and with him an era of Indian soldiers who stood for integrity and courage.

I don’t like wars myself but I do understand the importance of a soldier in modern world. As the nature of wars we fight is changing so does the role of a soldier and I hope Sam would keep motivating them forever.